Tracey Boseley, Head of Education Sector Support at Child Bereavement UK, shares some important words around how to cope with the loss of a loved one during your time at university

We understand that our September Don't Drink and Drown campaign may affect people who have lost a loved one, particularly for those who lose someone during their time at university and we recognise it can be a very difficult path to navigate feelings and grief during this period. Which is why we've recently teamed up with experts from Child Bereavement UK, to share some tips and pieces of advice around how to take care of yourself if you have lost someone during your time at university.

Recently becoming one of RLSS UK's Strategic Partners, Child Bereavement UK offers free, confidential bereavement support for individuals, couples, children, young people, and families, by telephone, video or instant messenger, wherever you live in the UK. They also offer face-to-face support from several locations. 

Read on below to hear some key advice and words of wisdom from Child Bereavement UK's Head of Education Sector Support, Tracey Boseley:

"When another student dies, it can be extremely distressing – particularly if they were on your course or part of your friendship group. Even if you did not know them well, the news that they have died can have an effect on you and, if you’re already bereaved, could cause you to revisit your grief.  

Depending on the circumstances, how close you were to them, and your own life experience, you may feel a range of emotions from shock, sadness or numbness to anger and disbelief – all these feelings are normal. No two people feel the same when someone dies so try not compare how you feel with how others are feeling.  

Child Bereavement UK shares guidance on ways to manage when someone you know at university has died, and I have added some key pieces of advice below: 

Reach out to your support networks: Grief can feel lonely and isolating, particularly when you might not have access to your usual support network of family and friends from home. 

Most universities and colleges offer student support services, although they may not offer specific bereavement support. If you would like bereavement support, you could consider contacting a local bereavement support charity or calling Child Bereavement UK’s Helpline or using the Live Chat on the website. Peer support can also be very helpful – there may be a bereavement group at college or university that your student welfare service can tell you about, or you could think about establishing one yourself.  

Tell your university if you’re struggling: If you’re struggling with grief, your academic work, exams and assignments may feel overwhelming. Let your personal tutor or student welfare team know as soon as possible so that you can discuss options. If things start to get too much, every university has a student support team who will offer guidance and counselling. Universities want their students to be happy and settled and managing their coursework. 

Do something in memory: Sharing memories and doing something positive with friends can be helpful. You could come together to create a way of remembering the student who has died, such as holding a social event to fundraise in their memory, creating a special artwork, or liaising with your university about the possibility of having a memorial bench made or planting a tree on campus. 

If you were close to the person who died, you might want to create something personal to remember them like creating a memory box containing pictures and things that remind you of them, writing a journal, making a piece of art or a playlist, or simply visiting a place your friend enjoyed.  

Look after yourself: Looking after your physical health is important when you’re grieving. Even gentle exercise can help and can be a good way to connect with others if you want to. Student life can be hectic but trying to eat well, exercising and making sure you get some sleep can help.  

Some people may try to manage how they feel through alcohol or recreational drugs. Although you might feel this may distract you or block out emotional pain for a while, they can become a problem long-term and can obviously have a detrimental effect on your health and wellbeing. Your GP can help if you are worried about your use of alcohol or drugs. 

Get support: Students we have supported tell us it can also be very helpful to talk to a professional outside your friendship or family group, and if you’d like to find out about support that’s right for you, you could contact student welfare or talk to someone at Child Bereavement UK via Live Chat, or our Helpline on 0800 02 888 40. 

Some people find it helpful to talk to people their age who are in a similar situation. Child Bereavement UK's Helpline will be able to tell you about any online groups for 18–25-year-olds which might be available for you. 

To find out more or access Child Bereavement's services